So what's with the title of my blog? It's quite simple really. I love sarcasm. I love being a smartass. I love being a goofball. All of them come fairly naturally to me. However, I'm quite certain that all three will get me a red tush or some equally horrible (enjoyable?) punishment at some point. Most likely frequently at that.
Yet another positive of joining FetLife was a thread I found over the weekend. One of the groups I'm in, Submissive Women, has a thread titled "Things you shouldn't **DO** to your Dom." And yeah, it's just that. I got to enjoy 24 pages of hilarious hijinks subs have done intentionally or unintentionally to their Dom/mes. It reassured me that just because I'm a smartass, it doesn't mean I'm not a sub.
So many of the stories had me rolling. My favorite story was this one, "Pop rocks blow job. Sounds like fun right? yeah make sure none of them get into the hole. And if one does, and then pops, DONT LAUGH!!!!"
I promise you I would NEVER EVER do that. But OMG was it hilarious! I laughed for at least 5 minutes on that one. I still snicker when I think about it.
That story reminds of another sub who thought it would be funny to tape sidewalk poppers to the bottom of the toilet seat - really to those tabs that hold the top seat from lying on the bowl directly. When her Dom sat down, they all went off, and he went a jumpin'. LOL That one sounds like an excellent April Fool's Day prank to me. Or just an excellent prank in general. Hehe.
Most stories simply brought me a good chuckle. Some stories reminded me of things I do often to friends, meaning I'm bound to slip up and do to a Dom at some point.
Rope stories were fun. Some would use the free end of the rope to hit their Dom/me. *laughs* Some wanted to use it to play tug of war. And some would sing or whistle while waiting for ropes to be tied. THAT one is something I would so do. I constantly hum the Jeopardy theme song around people when I'm waiting on them to say or do something. Oh yeah, that one's happening eventually. Probably multiple times too.
A lot of subs liked to run away from their Dom/mes. That's just WRONG! I imagine it's hilarious though. I often will do or say something to a friend which will begin a chase, and I yell out, "Run, run as fast as you can. Can't catch me I'm the Gingerbread Man!" Being chased around the room/house sounds kind of hot, no? *snickers*
One thing for the "Fun Being a Smartass" vault was inspired by me telling someone yesterday, "Oh, yeah? Watchya gonna do?" I have had to watch Cops or at the very least hear the theme song so many times in my life it's ridiculous. This is how I see this one playing out:
Me: *does something stupid but funny/cute*
Dom: Stop.
Me: *repeats action*
Dom: Stop. Or else.
Me: Oooooh. *sings, 'Whatchya gonna do, whatchya gonna do when they come for you?'* *giggles*
Dom: That's it! *walks over, grabs me, & drags me off to punish me*
Try telling me with a straight face you didn't at least crack a smile. LOL
Oh, and before I end this post, I'd like to prove how in trouble I'll get myself...I'm already in trouble. Apparently, even though you want to surprise Sir with pictures of you, it's preferable to ask him if it's a good time for such things or they may be accidentally viewed around other co-workers. Oopsie! No one else saw this time. But yeah. I'm in for a punishment for that one. No clue what it is, but he liked the pictures so I doubt it'll be too horrible. *snickers and skips away*
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