Fetish: Spanking (Updated)

Well, this girl finally got her first real spanking. I didn't even have to misbehave to get it either. Hehe!


I had no real expectations going into it, so I can't say that it was or was not what I expected it to be. I don't think I expected it to hurt so much. I was thinking of the mild smacks I had received before. But Bourbonlime is strong and can hit hard. And he really got into it as much as I did. Once the smacks were landing on places which had already been hit the stinging set in. It didn't last long, but it definitely stung. But I'm find I don't really mind about the pain from being spanked, and now I also have nice marks on my tushie. Hopefully they'll last until the next time Bourbonlime and I can play and he can give me new marks. Never thought I was a masochist, but I guess I'm a little bit of one since it takes pain to create marks, and I really like marks.

This was also the first time I had ever been high after having sex. Nothing was really different on the sex side of what we did. Sex with Bourbonlime is ALWAYS fantastic. So all that's really left as a variable is me getting spanked. It's entirely possible that is why I was high. Or maybe it was something else. I guess time and more experiences will be the judge. But I can say this, being high after getting fucked very well is AMAZING!!! I was a little goofy too. And "yelled" at one friend for expecting me to use my brain. Once I explained I was still high though so could not be expected to think, he was fine. Haha! But still...being high from sex was awesome.

Positivity

I have a problem when it comes to guys. I’ve spent lots of time pursuing guys who were interested at one point in time but then who, for one reason or another, lost interest; and trying to fix relationships (dating and friends) in which I was the only one trying to fix things. It’s damaging to one’s ego. And a complete waste of time.

The problem is I hate giving up on people, so I will give them a million chances, always hoping they will change. That way, I know when I do give up on them and write them off, I don’t have to feel guilty over it. But in the meantime, I look like a giant idiot because I’m the only one trying. And probably annoying the piss out of the other person, which just makes things worse.

So I’m pulling up my big girl panties and forcing myself to change. I’m going to attempt to listen to what a person’s actions are telling me about them and their opinion on things. I tend to be afraid I’m assuming something which is incorrect, but I really need to learn to just go with my gut. If a guy isn’t making it obvious he’s interested and staying in contact or saying why he won’t be in contact for awhile, I need to learn to accept his disinterest. And I need to move on, not feel guilty for doing so, and not feel bad about any part of it.

So from now on I'm choosing to be positive. And I will remind myself of the awesome things I have. Some of which are:

• I have an amazingly sexy lover/play partner, whom I love and who loves me, but will still let me play with anyone else I want to.  (And he can play with whomever to, just so you don’t think it’s one-sided.)
• I have awesome friends - Fet & non-Fet, who love me and care about me as an entire person, and who support me no matter what.
• I constantly have cute, sexy, funny guys to chat with who are potential future play partners (mostly online because of distance), or at the very least, fun guys to flirt with.
• And I have marks on my butt because Bourbonlime finally gave me that spanking I’ve been waiting for. Hehe!

Therefore, I’ve no need to dwell on the ones who no longer seem interested in me. I don’t need to waste my time, seeking approval and acceptance from people who don’t care enough to give it. I can revel in being an extremely lucky girl, because I really am surrounded by so many awesome people.