Posted this on Fet because I figured I'd get more comments and conversation there, but wanted to post here as well. And on a side note, I will really try harder to keep this blog updated.
Interesting story on the Today Show, which touches on BDSM a little because of its presence in a very popular new book "Fifty Shades of Grey."
The video is here.
I have not read "Fifty Shades." But I DID read this story when it was a Twilight fanfic called "Master of the Universe." Yes, same author.
As MOTU, as it was known, it was a VERY popular fanfic, and well deserved in the praise it got. EL James is an excellent writer. And yes, it did have some BDSM, but the story was more focused on the relationship between Edward (or "50 Shades" as he was known among fanfic readers, to distinguish which Edward/story was being discussed) and Bella, as well as, WHY Edward needed BDSM. Granted, his journey into it sort of paints those in the lifestyle in a bad light, but eventually Edward and Bella get to a point where it is a good and healthy thing. And I'll admit, it IS one of the handful of stories which made me turned on and curious enough to delve into this lifestyle.
The reaction of those covering the book on the Today Show is what I find interesting. Two of the three person panel, one being Dr. Drew Pinsky, are disturbed by it and think it shows and downward spiral in our society. Only one woman speaks up and says that is creative and healthy and good. Granted, she is also more focused on the fantasizing about it as opposed to the practice, but eh.
Again, I'm intrigued by the reaction of the professionals. While housewives said it spiced up their marriage, professionals seem to be against it. And I'm wondering if the twisted way in which 50 Shades gets involved in the lifestyle is partly to blame for the disturbance, or if they would be disturbed no matter what.
I am a little shock Dr. Drew is disturbed by this. I apparently had a completely different impression of him as being open minded sexually.
What I'm wondering is, who out there has read MOTU or 50 Shades and what are your thoughts on the fanfic story/book and on the Today's Show coverage of the story/book?
I admit I read part one of this trilogy when it was a fanfic, and at the time it was a bit of a guilty pleasure, a little titillating. I put up with a lot in this story-mediocre writing, a main character I wanted to bitch slap, the phrase "oh my" used to excess, and Bella's inner goddess-in the hopes for a decent payout. What I got instead was an incomplete story (that got progressively shittier with each chapter) and a version of BDSM that was beyond insulting, and I'm not even a member of the community.
ReplyDeleteOne doesn't need to be an active participant in the BDSM lifestyle in order to understand a little bit about it. In 50 Shades/MOTU's world, BDSM is an affliction created by a bad childhood that one can be cured of through the love of a good woman. Why isn't everyone insulted by this? My husband pointed out (and rightly so) that it's akin to trying to cure homosexuality. Sexuality isn't a disease to be cured. Likewise, a safe, sane, consensual kink isn't something that needs curing either.
Edward/Christian in the story isn't a Dom, he's a controlling, damaged man that the author stuck in a BDSM setting so she could excuse his behavior, make it "sexy" instead of reprehensible, alluring instead of screaming "run away!" In that sense you can totally see the evolution from Twilight: in real life Edward would have been a stalker with a restraining order, but since he's a vampire, watching Bella sleep at night is romantic.
I get that women enjoy erotica, and well they should. I don't even begrudge them poorly written erotica, which this book is. I love it, and I admit to reading (and writing) some shitty stories just for a really hot sex scene. In that I totally agree with the woman who spoke on the Today show: there is nothing wrong with these fantasies. I go a step further and also say there is nothing wrong with living them out if you can do so safely.
What I do bristle at is the faux BDSM setting that not only sends a wrong message about the lifestyle to people (i.e., reinforcing the idea that it's "wrong"), but I think it also sends a dangerous message to people who may tentatively be looking to experiment with BDSM. There is nothing healthy, sane, safe or consensual about the alleged BDSM relationship in the story. I know people in loving, fulfilling BDSM relationships, but I've also spoken to someone who was abused, physically and psychologically by someone who claimed it was a BDSM relationship, when really it was just a cover for the man's abuse.
Sorry to hijack your post here, but I really needed to vent that out.
Hijack away! You make excellent points and pointed out what I was trying to say but was failing at. How initially the BDSM is a mask for Edward abusing women because of his past. And yes, that aspect bugged me, but since I wasn't yet in the lifestyle, I guess I overlooked it. Forgave it? Honestly, there are some people in the lifestyle who have messed up pasts and BDSM is a sort of therapy for them. It doesn't always make it a bad thing. Just depends on how it plays out. Then again, there are plenty who use BDSM as a mask for abuse. It's a known danger and something newbies are warned about whenever possible.
ReplyDeleteI will say that in the end it does seem as though Edward reaches a point where the BDSM becomes more of something good within the context of their relationship and something for them to have fun with. Bella actually begins to enjoy it and want it, instead of being fearful of it. And Edward struggles with his past's connection to BDSM, but controls it and doesn't take things too far for Bella.
As for the relationship and character flaw, I suppose I forgave the glaring issues there because they were a parallel to Edward and Bella's relationship in Twilight. When I read Twilight fanfic, I don't expect the characters or relationship to be too far off of the original. But I suppose the readers of Fifty Shades won't have that to fall back on and they'll have to accept the relationship as is. Makes it more interesting when you think about how many women are enjoying the book. Then again, not many people seemed to find fault with Twilight. Perhaps that is what our society should be more disturbed over.
Seeing this from your point of view, I can now see how some would be disturbed by it. And how it could negatively impact views of the BDSM community.
Maybe one of these days a safe, sane, and consensual BDSM romance novel will be written, published, and hit the best seller list. And then BDSM won't be seen in such a negative and "disturbing" light.