Only Fools Rush In?

Yet another thread on Fet inspires a blog post. This one was called “Lack of self-control/putting out too quickly & ending up empty” under Submissive Women. The gist of the post questioning why sub women, particularly those looking for a long-term relationship (LTR), jump into “bed” with a Dom quickly, sometimes even on the first date.

I’ve seen it discussed around the site that this seems to also be particularly true for “new subs,” those people who have just joined the lifestyle or admitted that this is a part of them. Because they are new they have an over-eagerness which sometimes results into jumping into the first relationship which comes along, and it's not always a healthy one. I can attest to putting a lot of thought into this regarding myself.

Becoming Sir’s toy happened very quickly. I think within 2 or 3 days of me being on Fet. (Although, I will point out it was not the first D/s relationship offered to me either, so I like to think I'm at least semi-intelligent.) I sometimes question if it was TOO quickly. Admittedly, I could be in some sort of “honeymoon” or “eager newbie” phase, but since I’ve actually put a lot of thought into this, I think that is less likely. I don’t regret the decision.

And to be honest, the “eager” phase of new subs is exactly why. I know that things with Sir will never be long-term. But that only means I get to explore being a sub and go through my “eager” phase protected by that knowledge. I get attached to people fairly easily. I know this about myself. And I adore Sir immensely. And his wife. But I think knowing from the get go it has no potential to be long-term, when the relationship is ended, whether by Sir or me, the sting will be considerably less than it would be if I were in my first D/s relationship with the impression that it could be long-term. Your first love is always the hardest to lose, right? And I think the same logic applies here. My first D/s relationship could be the hardest to lose. I have no delusions that it won’t hurt a bit when it’s over, but since I know it will end eventually, I think it will be easier on me when that time comes. And I hope that even at the end of it I can remain friends with Sir and his wife.

This relationship truly is ideal on so many levels. 

1. I get to learn from both sides - Sir and his wife/sub. 
2. Being new, I recognize I’m eager for that D/s relationship, but since I have Sir, I don’t feel rushed to find just any potential LTR. I want a long-term relationship, but I can take my time and be smarter about finding it  because I have less of an overpowering need to have it RIGHT NOW. Thus, I have a higher chance at finding the right relationship for me.
3. Sir is AMAZING; since he knows what I am looking for, I have the freedom to search for that even while I’m his toy. Which is pretty damn ideal in my eyes.
4. Besides, being Sir's toy is awesome enough without all of the other bonuses included. ;)

So did I jump into being a toy for Sir too soon? Perhaps. 

Am I being naïve and too trusting? It’s entirely possible; I've been there before. Although, I really am going by my gut instincts on this. 

Do I regret it? Absolutely not. And I doubt that I ever will. I believe I truly lucked out on this one.